The Scribbler's Den

We Soar

2011-11-22T01:37:00.001+08:00

All the birds that have been snatched out of the air
Fall to the sea and become fishes
There they swim with the current
And the birds fly with the wind
And yet as men, we walk the earth in whichever direction our heart leads us.

With the want of change and freedom
Fishes of the sea evolve and change
With wings they spread wide
Once again soaring through the air
And flying with the wind, they are birds once more

And as men, with want of freedom,
We wish for wings on our backs
To soar the skies among the birds
In hopes of finding another
To soar together, forever.

Ups and Downs

2011-07-31T04:19:00.001+08:00

The distant horizon beckons,

Winds and storms threatens,

As your will strengthens,

Stride after stride lengthens.

Through many falls and failures,

Through many walls and ventures,

Further and further it ensures,

In time it cures.

New joy covers the sadness,

Light shines in the darkness,

In all of the madness,

There lies the sought happiness.

What If?

2010-10-24T05:53:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered about the "what ifs" in life?

What if I had done this instead?

What if I had gone there instead?

What if I hadn't shown up?

What if I lied?

Sometimes, we just sit and ponder on the what ifs that are always a part of our lives. It will never disappear. Whenever we make a decision, the "what if" is there. Being human, we are unable to try everything that we want, instead, we have to settle with one decision and live with the what if. Worse part of it all, we will never know what the outcome would have been should we have made a different decision at the time.

What if. I ask myself that a lot and it always ends with the same answer; if only.

Both are related really, what if and if only. How do I know this?

Well, every time I ask myself a what if, I find myself coming up with only one answer, more of a desire really.

If only I was able to go through every single scenario once in my life.

If only, I was a ninja like Naruto and am able to do kagebunshin-no-jutsu.

Alas...I'm not.

Sadly, I'm just going to have to be satisfied with being human and the limitations of being one.

Sigh...if only...

Right or Wrong?

2010-09-16T00:09:00.002+08:00

We make decisions everyday.

We come to the fork in the road everyday.

When we choose an option, we generally feel that it's the best or right one to choose.

Yet...

How are we so sure that it's the right one?

How are we so sure that the alternative would've been worse or wrong?

How are we so sure that the alternative wouldn't have been better?

That's because we'll never know.

Every step taken, every decision made, every action committed, we do it on instinct and common sense.

After that...we only hope for the best. Hoping that it will all turn out all right and not worse than the situation already is.

Right or wrong, decisions still have to be made. Running away is not an answer.

Likewise with the repercussions, you have to face it head on. Running away will only make matters worse.

Decisions, everyone hates them yet can't escape them.

The irony of life.

Who Are You?

2010-08-10T15:20:00.000+08:00

Another interesting question that my lecturer raised in class today. Though I think I've already blogged about this sometime back. Still, no harm blogging about it again.

Often times people say things like "I am who I am". That's great and indeed it is. BUT!

What is/was it that made you YOU?

Was it family influences? Friends? Girlfriend? Religion? Experiences?

My answer to this in class was - life.

Why?

Well, everything is encompassed under life. In life you have your family, friends, religion, experiences, etc. So, why does it only have to be ONE specific influence? How about strangers you meet in shopping malls? How about the person who smiles at you when you are feeling down but you don't even know who that is?

I'm a rebel at home. Quite a harsh word to use, I know but I admit to that. Why? Because I think I have an innate sense of very strong integrity in me.

Ever since I was very young, if I knew or felt that what I was doing wasn't wrong, then no matter how my parents or teachers for that matter reprimand me, I wouldn't listen. In fact, I didn't even care. I knew I wasn't at fault so I didn't deserve the lecture I got.

Even to this day, I stand strong when I feel that I did nothing wrong. If it was in my fault, then I will gladly admit it but not when I didn't do anything wrong.

So the question is this - What made you, you?

Road To Discovery

2010-07-21T15:50:00.006+08:00

It's good to have an epiphany after not blogging for so long, and for that, I owe it all to my lecturer.

She started class by asking us these questions; "Who are you? What is your identity? Do you know who you really are?"

That made me think. A lot. They indeed are valid questions that all of us should ask ourselves each day.

As for me, to some I'm the gentle bear. To some others I'm the crazy guy whose always cracking jokes, or the serious one, or the lazy one, or the kind one, or the player. So many people see me in different ways.

So, who does that make me? Am I the kind one? Am I the crazy one? Or am I just a nobody that people forget after losing contact with me for a while. I'd like to think that I'm not all that forgettable. I'm outspoken, this much I know. But I also know that I like to have my quiet time even though there are people around, I just feel like keeping quiet and not do or say anything. This often makes people think that something is bothering me and many wouldn't believe it when I tell them that I just feel like being quiet. I strongly feel that this is due to the reason that I'm noisy a lot of the time. The loud one in the group.

This made me recall one incident that happened to me while I was riding the komuter back to Bangi.

As usual I stood by the door for this makes it easier for when I want to disembark. I was looking out of the window of the door. Beside me stood a lady and her children. One of her daughters was standing in front of me. As I was listening to the songs playing on my MP3, I suddenly felt something drip onto my shoe. At first I thought it was just water or something that the child was eating. When I looked at her, I realized that she just threw up with her hand covering her mouth and some of the vomit dripped onto my shoe. She then bent down and continued hurling for a couple more times. All this happened right where I was standing.

What made me think about this incident is because of what I did next.

Nothing...

Wanting to act cool all the way. I ignored what happened and turned back to looking out of the window. I didn't really care about my shoe as I was intending to throw it out anyway. As the mother fussed about her daughter, I realized that I wasn't the only one doing nothing. Everyone else who saw what happened carried on what they were doing. Watching.
At the next stop, they got off. Good for the child. The mother apologized to me as she was getting off and I smiled back saying that it's ok.

When I got back home (after washing up at the toilet where I got off), I sat on my bed and thought; "What the hell is wrong with me?"
Instead of acting cool all the way, I should have helped the child. Maybe asked one of the passengers to stand so that she could sit and consoled her that it's all right. Instead, I ignored everything that was going on all for the sake of trying to look cool.

I regretted my actions for that day. I could have done something different and made a difference. Yet, I didn't. I told myself that I would not be like that again should another situation like this arise in the future.

So, for that, I came to a conclusion for the questions my lecturer asked and the answer is...I do not know. All I know is that I'm complicated. The way I think is different at different times. The way I act varies as well. The way I am depends on who I'm with.

So what if I can't define myself? It's not who I am to me that matters but who I am to others around me. All I know is that I am who I am...

Past & Passed

2010-01-04T23:37:00.004+08:00

Have you ever felt that you missed out on a lot of happenings in life?

All of it just because you weren't there.

Maybe you have lost contact with some people for sometime. Haven't had the opportunity to catch up on things.

Missing out on all the fun. The craziness. The laughter. The connections. The joy. The feeling of it all....

And yet while you are missing out on all that fun, you are having fun else where.

Creating memories that are equally priceless.

Catching up with other people.

Spending quality time with the ones that you care.

As a door closes, another opens.

Even in joy there is sadness and even in sadness there is joy.

Live in the moments that brings joy. Live without regrets.

Enjoy every breath, especially the moments when you can't breathe. (Get what I mean?)

Going Home

2009-12-10T21:10:00.003+08:00

Famous saying;

There's no place like home.

Home is where the heart is they say.

What if your house is in some place, but your heart is in some place else? So, where would home be then?

What constitutes a home?

A place where you were born? That's why they call it hometown??

A place where your parents are living right now??

Or a place where you start a family?

A place where you settle down for good?

For a Christian, Heaven is home. When all life on earth ends, we go home to heaven.

But what of a Christian who believes in God yet enjoys sinning? Is his home heaven as well? Or is his home actually hell? Since he so chooses to go there with all knowledge of the consequences of his actions.

So what is home? Or, where is home?

Is home a place where you were born or come from? A place where you grew up? A place where you are settled and build a family of your own?

To some it takes years to find the best place to be called home. To some, soon. To some others, where they come from is already home and nothing beats it.

Home is where the heart is. These words ring so true.

A particular place where the heart is content and one is happy and comfortable. That is where home truly is.

What Makes A Man?

2009-11-30T21:06:00.003+08:00

"Be a man, do the right thing!"

-Russell Peters-

Guys, most of the time if not always, get this line; "be a man!"

I do not deny that sometimes we do have to toughen up and BE a man.

BUT,

What makes a man?

Is it his courage? Girls/ladies/women (let's just use girls) have courage.

Is it his strength/toughness? Some girls are stronger/tougher than men.

Is it his looks? Now, why does that matter?

Is it his ego? Girls have egos.

Is it his certain unorthodox methods at doing something? Girls can be unorthodox as well.

So, when we say "be a man!"

WHAT exactly, makes a man?

Tomorrow

2009-11-16T22:34:00.002+08:00

If tomorrow never comes....

-Ronan Keating-

Have you ever asked yourself this question?

What if tomorrow never comes?

Will you regret anything?

Will you wish that you had another day just to get things right?

What if you knew that tomorrow wont come?

What would you do?

If I knew that my tomorrow would never come, I would;

1st message/call everyone I know and let them know how they have impacted my life and thank them for being a part of it.

2nd, switch off my phone and any other communication device.

3rd, spend time with my loved ones.

And lastly, leave this world...with my loved and most cherished ones by my side...with a smile.

=)

What about you? What would you do if you knew tomorrow wont come?

Let Go

2009-10-29T00:06:00.006+08:00

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
-- Anon

Ever had something that you just wanted to hold on tightly to but had to let go?

Ever held on so hard that letting go seemed impossible?

Ever thought of reaching something and then holding on to it for the rest of your life?

Ever thought of finally achieving what you have dreamed of all this while?

Ever found the one where you really loved and didn't want to let her go?

Even if you didn't want to, but had to. Would you let go?

Would you sacrifice it all and let go?

Would you forget after you have let go?

Will you remember what you let go?

Will you regret?

Will you forgive?

Will you hate?

Or....

Would you sacrifice it all, just to hold on?

Will you forget it all and hold on?

Will you regret?

Will you hate yourself for it?

Will you let go, or hold on even tighter?

My answer;

I'll hold on by letting go. Because when you finally get it back, it'll be worth more than it ever was.

Hold on by letting go.

The Legend

2009-10-20T22:54:00.003+08:00

From the movie "The Guardian";

What makes a legend?
Is it what someone does when they are alive?
Or how they are remembered when they are gone?

The question here is this; how do you want to be remembered?

Would you prefer to be remembered when you are still alive?

Or...would you prefer to be remembered after you are gone?

Personally, I choose to be remembered after I'm gone.

Why?

When I'm alive, I don't need to be remembered. I can make an impact in people's lives any day.

However...

When I'm gone, I wanna be remembered because that's when I can't be around physically to make an impact in people's lives.

In this world, you are made eternal in two ways;

1) In writing. Songs, poems, stories...etc.

2) In memory. You live on in the hearts and minds of those who once knew you and who you once made an impact in their lives.

Being a legend means doing incredible things while you are alive and being remembered for those feats when you are gone.

Live to be a legend. A good one.

Trust

2009-10-07T17:12:00.004+08:00

There is a saying;

Trust is a must in a relationship

Indeed, when you are in a relationship, you have to trust the person you are with.

Whatever he/she does.

Where, when, with whom....everything.

If you can do that, you will have a very strong and steady relationship.

BUT.....

What if the person that you do not trust is not your partner, but yourself?

You trust your partner 100%.

But you trust yourself 20%...

How will that affect the relationship?

Give it some thought.

The answer is for you to know, and for you to do something about if it's not something nice.

Believe

2009-09-19T21:56:00.003+08:00

Quote;

You'll see it when you believe it.
~Wayne Dyer~

Live.

Live with believe.

To believe is to accept.

Without believe, nothing is real.

When you believe, everything is real.

When you believe in nothing, you are nothing.

When you believe in something, you are something.

When you choose to believe in someone else, you believe in yourself.

If you don't believe in yourself, you can't believe in someone else.

To believe in something/someone...First believe in yourself.

Because you wouldn't believe it if you didn't.

Believe in believing.

Believe.

Flowery

2009-08-18T15:52:00.003+08:00

There is a saying;

Life is not a bed of roses

Truth is, life IS a bed of roses

You wanna get to the top?

Go through the thorns first.

You wanna get to the BOTTOM??

Go THROUGH the THORNS first.

The result?

Beautiful...

7 Senses

2009-08-11T00:03:00.001+08:00

Stupidity is a harsh word and yet it's a disease many people have.

It is well known that typical human beings have 5 senses which are touch, sight, taste, sound and smell.

What is not well known is that humans actually have 7 senses all together, and maybe even more. The other 2 are, however, dormant.

Okay, you may know or at least heard of the 6th sense which is the ability to see supernatural beings that are not of this plain. That one is common enough.

Now, the 7th sense that we tend to dismiss is something that all humans have. Though, with some people, it seems to be lacking.

What is the 7th sense?

Common sense.

Or in certain cases, it's referred to as horse sense. Carries the same meaning.

Common sense is explained in the dictionary as "ordinary good sense". Somehow, it's what helps us get through daily life at some point.

Without common sense, people would not be able to move forward and continue being primitive.

We live because we are able to think and be logical daily hence giving us the ability to interpret things in so a manner.

Regrettably, humans are lazy creatures and thus fail to use the gift that God gave us and refuse to think before committing an action therefore causing difficulties not only to themselves but also to other.

So, I beseech all of you, use that brain that was granted to us. Human brains are the biggest amongst all creation and yet the amount of thinking is the smallest.

So, to those of you ignorant drivers out there. Please, PLEASE use some common sense damn it!

*P.S. This post is an way of venting my anger at irritating drivers that I encounter everyday on the roads here in Malaysia.

*P.P.S I sincerely hope that you who are reading this is not one of those drivers.

God bless.

Drowning

2009-08-03T11:10:00.004+08:00

Life is like a raging river, it drags you along with it whether you want it or not. All you can do is try to stay afloat.

~Drowning~

Dragged underneath it all
The currents of life unresting
The higher we rise
The harder we fall

The sea of emotions a constant churning
The grip tightens on the turmoil
At the threshold of the limit
Only one thought lingers, dying

The faster the sinking
The harder the struggle
Abandoning all hope
Giving up without thinking

The fear unbearable
The pain indescribable
Feeling lost, despair and hopelessness
We pray.

P.S. The poem's not really good. Haven't wrote one for so long. Lost touch I guess. ^.^

Overcoming

2009-07-21T20:17:00.004+08:00

There is a saying;

The only person you need to beat is yourself.

Very commonly, we set a target that we need to achieve and most of the time, the target is someone else.

In school, it's sometime a friend in class. Trying to see who scores higher in exams.

At home, it could be siblings. Trying to outdo each other in getting good results in studies.

At work, it's a colleague. Fighting to get a promotion or something else.

In being a musician. We aim to be better or at the same level as someone famous.

In writing. We aim to be as good as William Shakespeare or someone really good.

However, little do we realize...it's not these people who we need to beat. It's them who we need to be better of to achieve something.

It's us that we need to overcome.

All these people who have become really good at what they do. Unbeatable in a sense. And yet they keep getting better day after day. Why is that? Do they have someone that they look up to as well?

Nope.

They train / practice everyday just so they can be better at what they do than they are at present time.

By putting an aim towards someone or something, you still need to become better than you are now before you can achieve what you aim at.

In the end, it all comes back to you.

Be better than yourself, not others. The aim is not others but YOU!

Love

2009-07-20T08:46:00.003+08:00

There is a saying;

It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

There is a reply; "Try it."

Why is it that as human beings, we seek for love? Not love from family or friends, but a different kind of love. One that only a person of the opposite sex is capable to offer. Love is indeed a great feeling. Though it comes with pain and sorrows. Fights, anger, hatred. And yet it still prevails and gives you that priceless feeling.

The dictionary defines love as a great liking for someone or something which in this case is some one.

The dictionary, compiled together by scholars who put definitions to words, and words are used to convey certain feelings. However, no one in the world has so far been able to explain how love actually feels like.

Humans' emotions are complicated. Very. Love may be confused with like. Hatred may be confused with envy. Although it seems insignificant, it actually is a pretty large difference.

People have asked me, "How do you know that you truly love someone?"

And I have answered; "When you are willing to give up anything and everything for that person."

I say that but I don't know how it feels like to do so. I can give so many possibilities of finding out that you love someone but it may just not work for some other people.

So the questions here are how do we really know that we love someone and why do we need to love someone?

1. We need to love because we were created to love and also created to not be alone. We seek companionship in the opposite sex because the love that they can offer is different.

2. We know when we have fallen in love just by feeling it. No one can tell us how it feels like. No one can dictate how you feel when you are in love. Somehow, miraculously, you just know. To know how it feels, you have to experience it yourself.

Love is a wonderful thing. No?

Short, Sweet & Meanigful

2009-07-12T20:53:00.005+08:00

Why do we do what we do?

Give it some thought....

Remember What's Important

2009-06-21T20:30:00.003+08:00

Many times people say;

Count your blessings.

I have received this in my e-mail countless time. So many to the point I delete it because I have already memorized the story. Surprising how it turns out to be an inspiration drive for me.

~God's Boxes~

I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box
And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes
Both my joys and sorrows I stored.
But though the gold became heavier each day
The black was as light as before.

With curiosity I opened the black
I wanted to find out why.
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused
"I wonder where my sorrows could be."
He smiled a gentle smile and said
"My child, they're all here with me."

I asked God why He gave me the boxes
Why the gold, and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings
The black is for you to let go."

--Author Unknown--

The world is full of hatred and anger all around. One of the main reasons why people fight, crime increases and wars break out.

All people need to do is exercise the teaching in the story.

Instead of keeping hatred or vengeance in their hearts, people should instead count their blessings and be happy with what they got.

Being angry or unhappy about what you DIDN'T have wont make you happy, in fact, it makes you all the more unhappy.

When we start to remember everything bad that happens to us, we become bad. If we remember everything good that happens to us, we become good. That's because we become thankful for what we already have and don't ask for what we couldn't have.

Think of blessings instead of sins. Be thankful for what others have blessed us and forget the sins against us.

Priority

2009-06-15T10:16:00.009+08:00

For a plant, the root is more important. The branches will always grow again.

Often times we take things for granted. We forget how something is so important in our lives that we neglect it until when we finally realize it, it's too late.

No, this post is not about taking things for granted.

It's about what you take to be more important in your life.

Have you ever had a situation where a friend broke something that you really like or is important to you? What did you do? Get angry? Shouted at your friend? Threw a tantrum?

How about your brother or sister ( no matter older or younger ) "accidentally" deleted your assignment which you worked so hard in one week for. What would you do?

Well, I'm pretty sure that one would get angry almost immediately and start lashing out the punishments of your greatest imagination. And yet, over small things like these, are you willing to lose the greater things in life?

Are we so concerned about a picture frame? or an assignment, or a book, or a handphone that we get mad at people that we really care about and may end up jeopardizing the relationship as a whole?

Fights leaves scars. On the surface as well as below.

A thing is just that, a thing.

Is it more important than friendship or family?

There are things that are more important in life. The only difference is, which one you choose to put at the top.

If you haven't seen this video before, go see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3ZmNKYma0

Knowledge vs Wisdom

2009-06-07T23:12:00.010+08:00

There is a saying;

Wisdom comes with age. The older you get, the wiser you become.

The dictionary explains that knowledge is
a) general facts or information that people know; and
b) what a particular person knows about something

Wisdom on the other hand is described as; general common sense.

As students, we complain a lot about how studying is boring and uneventful. Especially in the Malaysian education system, we are only supposed to absorb and regurgitate for exams later on. The only level when we are really expected to think is in tertiary level which by then is already to late to cultivate the mind in performing critical thinking skills.

Yet, we somehow get by. It's a wonder is it not? Ever wondered how?

Many people would argue that studies these days are not as important anymore as a lot of employers are looking for people with experience and better communication skills.

True.

Yet we are expected to study our brains away and get good results just so we can get a chance at the employment opportunity.

Which is more important now? Studies or work experience?

Well, they are both equally important.

Without knowledge there would be no wisdom.

First of all, like everything else in this world, you need a base. Knowledge is the base of wisdom.

Why is that so?

Without knowledge, you wouldn't know what you are facing or thinking about therefore not being able to give out wisdom in confronting whatever it is that requires your attention.

Without wisdom there would be no knowledge.

What am I ranting on about?

If it were not for your thinking abilities and also the power of your own reasoning, you would not be able to take in and digest whatever that is being taught to you hence wisdom is also required in the process of obtaining knowledge.

Do not take lightly of one point and at the same time put so much weight on another.

p.s. What then can you make of the saying above? ^.^

Let It Shine

2009-05-31T21:15:00.006+08:00

There are many sayings;

Put your heart to it.
All it needs is some heart.

A heart may be broken. Time and time again. Yet for some reason it never dies. The reason?

It's what's in the heart that matters. Not the heart itself.

Just like a diamond encased in metal. When exposed to extreme heat, the metal melts but the diamond doesn't.

Similarly with the human heart, it may shatter to pieces, crack, melt, disintegrate and yet the power of it remains the same.

What shines is not the heart but what that comes from the heart. Let that shine without boundaries just as a sparkly diamond shines its light to looking eyes.

Icebergs

2009-05-24T22:57:00.007+08:00

There is a saying;

There is more to it than meets the eye.

Life is like an iceberg.

Cold, harsh, steep, jagged rocks, strong winds and so on.

But just like an iceberg, there is more to life than meets the eye.

Just like diving underwater to see the whole iceberg,
Life gets bigger and more magnificent the deeper you go into it.

There is meaning to life. We just may not have found it yet or have already found it but do not yet understand it.
Likewise, there is meaning to every event in life. We may not understand it completely just yet but as you dive deeper and as time goes by, you will.

Life is like an iceberg, it's not what that is seen that matters.
It's what that is not seen.

The Book

2009-05-18T09:45:00.003+08:00

If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.

~Toni Morrison

We have all read books before. Or at least one book. When we read, we tend to picture the characters and actions of the book in our minds making it more interesting.

Now each book that we read, its about different people and a different story yet sometimes, the happenings in the book may relate to the reader so well that it may actually show a way to solve a certain problem in life. Can we call that a storybook ending? You tell me.

Here's the point; do you realize that we are ALL writers? No?

Well, we are.

Now here's another point; you may not know because you are not WRITING the book.

What does that mean? First a writer then not writing it? Am I insane? Maybe....

3rd point; we are the main characters in the book.

Still not getting me? Oh well....

LIFE is a book.

An ant's life is a book. A tree's life is a book. A dog's life is a book. YOUR life is a book.

Each and every day that passes by, we are putting more and more into the book without really realizing it. And in this book there more chapters than one can ever imagine. If I was given the chance to title the chapters of the book about my life, I would start off with "Chapter 1: The Birth" and end it with "Epilogue: The Last Moments"

Why do I say that life is a book?

Well, when you look back at times that you once had with friends and family and all, it's like a book. You turn back the pages to take a look of the story then. What if you forget? It's as if the pages of the book were torn out.

Here's the best part. A book is really detailed. When you look back into the past, you actually remember your feelings at the particular time. Also, a book shows you that what you feel at the moment may not be the biggest thing that is affecting your life but something else. Something between the lines.

A book has so many emotions in it. Love, hate, anger, jealousy etc. and yet 99% of the time, it has a happy ending. So does life.

=)

Help

2009-05-07T10:41:00.014+08:00

"To be helpless is to be hopeful."

Have you ever felt helpless? Have you ever felt so powerless that you want to do something but you just can't because you either don't know what to do, how to do it, when and where?

I have felt that way many times. One of the strongest would be when I see stray animals that are undernourished, weak and diseased walking along the roads. I just wish that I could do something to help these poor animals. There have been people who have set up shelters on their own for the sake of helping these unfortunate animals. Yet, how can I do it without money? To help these animals, I need money. Even when you bring in an animal to the SPCA, you are required to pay for them to take the animal in, even though it is a stray.

Another would be when I walk around the streets or sidewalks, I see people begging. Some of them look quite well off. But some of the just look really in need. I feel compassionate for them. When I can, I give them something, either a few ringgit or maybe some food. When I do that and they smile at me gratefully and saying "thank you", I feel that I have done something that seems insignificant to me but it's a great deal to them. I feel that I could help with so much more.

I admit that I'm no angel. Many times I see some of them who are amputees but they have a prosthetic beside them. And I think to myself, "If they can afford a prosthetic, why must they beg?". I have taken into option that the medical bills might have wiped out all of their savings. However, if they have the resource of a prosthetic, they can work. True that many employers do not want to take people who are less able but that does not mean that there is no work for them. Yet, they choose to take the easy way by making themselves look pitiful.

Another strong feeling I get is when I hear or see about orphans and disabled children in care homes all around the world. These children have a bright future ahead of them yet all we can do is give pity to them. A lot of patience is needed in caring for this energetic group, and also for the not so energetic. Education is an important part of these kids lives yet most of them can't go to school because the homes that they live in do not have enough funds to support them.

Last but not least, the old folks home. Old folks. That is how it is officially labeled? Not parents? Mothers? Fathers? Guardians? They are easily forgotten. The race for financial strength is so strong that we forget the contributions that have been given while growing up. When I step into the old folks homes, all the aunties and uncles there have a hopeful look on their faces, wondering if it is one of their relatives who have come to visit.

Their children so easily forgot what they did to raise them. Financial? You gotta work? Take care of your kids? These people have risked work AND money just to get you where you are today. And you put them in a home, you rarely visit. Sometimes, they cry themselves to sleep because they think that their children or grandchildren have forgotten about them.

I have many dreams that have yet to be fulfilled. Many times I have and will feel helpless. But I will not give up.

Religion

2009-05-01T01:08:00.005+08:00

There is a saying;

The faith of a person who believes in something that they can't sense with the human 5 senses are countless times stronger than the faith of those who believe in something that which they can only sense with the 5 senses.

There are various religious believes in this world. The dictionary defines religion as believing in gods or in one God. Islam, Buddhism, Taoism, Christianity, Catholicism, Hinduism, Jewish, even animism. These are just the tip of the iceberg.

There are so many religions in this world to the point where some don't even know which god to believe in and instead call themselves freethinkers meaning that they believe that there is a God, or there is a higher power at work but they just don't know which God it is.

To some, religion is an identity. To them, having a religion defines who they are. Without it they are nobody and people around them know them for their religion. In this case, these people believe in whatever they believe in just because it makes them known to people. They do not take what they believe seriously and to heart. It's just for the sake of personal gains.

To some others, religion is a necessity. It is a must in their lives. Without it, they are lost and hopeless in life. The religion is like a manual on how to live their lives day by day. These people are really strong in their faith of what they believe in. However, there could be bad side effects to this strong belief of theirs. Should they take whatever teachings of the religion literally, it may cause danger to others and/or themselves. I choose not to elaborate on what I mean by that. I only dare say that I have personally witnessed people doing something that is not exactly good and they claim it is for their religion's sake that they do that.

There are also the group that choose to believe in a religion as a guideline to life. They take the teachings of that particular religion that they believe in and apply in life for the better good. These people also have strong faiths but they know the limits and that not all the teachings are to be applied.

I am a Christian. I used to be a Buddhist. However, Christianity was my choice and Buddhism wasn't. It was just because my whole family was a Buddhist that I was considered a Buddhist. I chose to be a Christian. I have my believes and I have my faith.

Some condemn me for it and yet I stay on. Why? Because religion is not something to be condemned. I believe that in every religion, we are called to love one another regardless of our believes. If you actually condemn other religions just because you don't believe that it's real, what does that make you? Is that what your teachings teaches you?

"Condemn those that do not believe in this religion for they are fakes and are not worthy to be a part of your life."

Is that it? Is that what you are called out to do?

Sometimes, we call ourselves religious. We tell ourselves that what we do is right and there is no wrong to it. Well, think again. Denial is strong but we are also called to be humble. Humility is a huge factor that is missing in today's world.

All in all, religion is a choice. It is up to the person what they choose to believe in. We were given the right of free will for this very reason. There may be multiple gods up there and they put up a bet to see how many followers they can get. I do not know.

All I know is, I chose to believe. And I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. Curse me for it, condemn me for it. It's my choice, and you can't really do anything about it. Because I chose to believe.

God bless. =)

Racism & Foreign Language

2009-04-24T23:11:00.016+08:00

Foreign Languages That I'd Like To Learn

Note: The above picture means "love"

Well, I've always been called a "banana" or "OCBC" (no, not the bank) since primary. Reason being that I did not know how to speak mandarin though being a Chinese dude. But since NS (National Service) I've been talking a lot in mandarin with friends and thus have learned to speak in mandarin. Still not as fluent nor with high vocab but it works. People understand me.

As for a foreign language that I'd really like to learn. Well, my answer is easy. I would like to learn Japanese. Why? Well, I've always found their language to be rather interesting. The way it sounds is just unique.

No, my main purpose is not to woo Japanese chicks (though that's a bonus =P). I've always liked the Japanese culture. Maybe it's influence from anime but it just hooked onto me when I first heard the language and seen the culture on documentaries and stuff.

Taking Japanese as electives in uni next year. ^.^

Racism

No matter where we go or whichever country we visit, racism exists. Some may deny it and say that their country has zero racism cases. No matter how peaceful the country may seem, behind the scenes, racism is at large.

There are many causes to racism. Some may be cause by influences of friends. Some by previous bad experiences in life. Some even by parents or family members. Sad really how racism actually exists when everywhere we look there are varieties.

In schools, workplace even in public, there is someone who dislikes another race other than their own. No matter what the statement may be, some people just can't get along.

It is human nature to feel dislike and hatred about something and most of the time, it's always caused by another human being. This is because we are all not perfect. Yet many refuse to accept that fact and keep justifying themselves trying to prove that they are the ones who are right and the opposite party is wrong.

Acceptance will only happen when we are able to look beyond the differences and see the similarities. Sometimes, there may not be any similarities at all but because we are looking beyond it, something will form, and it's called "bond".

To overcome racism, there has to be acceptance and to have acceptance, there has to be understanding and to have understanding, there has to be respect and to have respect, there has to be selflessness and to have.........

It just keeps going on. We need to reflect to see who we are before we judge anyone else.

A question that is really tough to answer....

Everyday, I pray for unity.

Questions

2009-04-21T00:22:00.003+08:00

Questions

Here I was staring at my laptop thinking that I should really update my blog as my one week is up. I got a topic and started typing but lost it quarter way through. Decided to watch a movie and all the while I was thinking of what I should blog about.

And I thought, "Why not blog about what to blog?". It's unique and well, I can definitely blog about that.

So here I am. What to blog?

Some or maybe most people would blog about their daily lives. Goings on, activities, events and stuff. But for me, sad to say is that my life is not as interesting as some of these people. Sure, I'm a student. I should have many things going on in my life right now. Well, sorry to disappoint. I'm what you can declare as boring. I don't go out much and I spend most my time in my room watching movies and going online. Well, perhaps when I move out I'll be more inclined to go out maybe for a jog or some sports.

Education. Seriously, I'm not really that driven to write about education all the time. I mean yes, school's good and stuff but I'm more into life's teachings. And there is so much that life can teach you in a day. Sometimes, it would just run so smoothly and normally that you didn't really learn anything about life on that day. Yes, yes...I always say that you learn something everyday. True. And sometimes what we learn may be something private or something that we don't wanna talk about. Ok, fine...I'm making myself confused but I think you get what I mean.

Reviews. Movie reviews or music reviews. Well, that may be a good suggestion as I've been watching a lot of movies lately. The only problem is that I'm a firm believer of letting people believe what they wanna believe. So I don't like writing reviews as much. But I may take it up as it actually may be a fun thing to do. =P
Ok, so I'm contradicting myself here.

So, the reason why I started this concept for my blog is so that people will give me topics to talk about. And the topics may be anything on their minds. It was smooth flowing for the first few weeks. And also to no surprise that the questions were mostly about my personal life. But there have been a few topics that were fun to talk about.

Of course, I'm not blaming anyone here. Any topic at all is welcomed. Sadly now, it has slowed down. Probably due to the exam period.

Sometimes I just wonder how some people can blog every single day. In fact, most famous bloggers don't even blog that often.

Oh, not to mention the fact that my blog is not as interesting seeing as I don't travel as much or do stuff. I guess it's a sign for me to get out more. Sigh...my life is just sad no? Okay, maybe not sad but boring? Some of you will put it that way.

But for me, life is always great. Wanna know why? Because I'm alive. And even if nothing interesting is going on, I'm still happy. =)

Many In One

2009-04-12T22:56:00.005+08:00

Why is it so important to have a blog? Are we that desperate for people to read about us?

Well, the question is not about the importance of it but more of why one would create a blog.

Blogging is not something that is compulsory in life. It does not mean that if we do not blog, we will be put to prison or be dumb or even become an antisocial. It is in fact...a choice.

A blog is not important unless it is for the purpose of work or studies or something that makes blogging compulsory. I have had assignments where I'm asked to blog. That is something that you can classify as important and it means marks and if I don't blog, then I shall fail. However, if you mean in the context of a personal blog, started at ones own will, it's a different story.

Some of the many reasons for blogging (that I know of);

- To keep as a journal
- To update friends on what's happening in life
- To release stress
- Just to write (as a hobby)
- To share experiences with the world
- To inspire others

So to answer the question, blogging is not important. And also, whether the blogger is desperate for someone to read their blogs is up to them. Each may have their own personal reasons.

Most importantly is we don't have to follow the flow and blog just because everyone else does. It's a free choice and the choice is yours alone. ( Exceptions; work, school, assignments etc.)

Broken

There is no Heaven on earth. Words may claim there is so. Actions may claim so. Feelings may claim so. Yet all these will fail us and we will come to realize that there is no Heaven on earth.

Some already have. Some have not. Yet all will come to feel it. All will come to know it. All will come to face it. All will come to see it. All will...

When the time comes, will you give in? Will you not stand back up? Will you lie still and not move? Or....will you stand back up? Will you continue to fight?

What will you do when everyone else around you has fallen? Will fall amongst them? Will you run? Will you fight and die honorably?

What would you do? How will you know? Who will you look to? When will your turn come? Where will it occur?

Pain. Many have come to know it personally. Some have known it so well to the point that they no longer want to feel it. Even so, will it cease completely? Instead, will it get worse? Maybe it'll hurt less the next time?

Whatever it is, pain is a part of life. Without it, life is just not life.

As the saying goes, "If it doesn't break us, it'll only make us stronger."

How true is that? Tell that to those who downed a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Tell that to those who hung themselves from the ceiling. Tell that to those who jumped from buildings head first.

Not everyone can live with it. One did go through it all more than we can ever imagine. Yet, in the end, He too died.

Human as we are, live is never easy. It will never be easy.

I pity those who hurt. But I pity more those who don't.

Lost

You answered when I asked.
You gave.
You guided when I was lost.
You showed.
You lifted me up when I was down.
You healed.
You came when I called.
You never left.

Thanks alone will not be enough.

So many things were done for me and yet I fail. Yet I fall. Yet I break. Yet I die.

Still, I stood up again. I walked again. I ran. I lived.

And I did not do it alone.

I thank You O' Lord for being there with me all this while. When I asked Father, You gave. When I prayed Father, You answered. When I was lost Father, you came and guided me back onto the path. When I was weak Father, You gave me strength. When I was worried Father, You calmed me. Forgive me Father, I have sinned against You. You gave so much and I took as much yet I gave nothing in return. Help me Father. I need You in my life ever more now. What shall I do? Where shall I do it? When shall I do it? To or with who shall I do it with? How shall I do it? Father, am I even worthy to do it? Speak to me. I long to hear Your voice once again. I long to see You clearer than ever before. I long for You O' God. I seek You with an un-whole heart yet You touched me. I have lost my way. I pray of You Father, guide me back. Let me hold Your hand once again. Let me bask in Your might. In Your power. In Your presence. In Your love...
Nothing else matters Lord. You are all I need. You are all I want. Forgive me Father for I have been unworthy. Bless my family and friends God for they have been a blessing unto me. Even though there have been ups and downs. It was all in Your plan for me. Father, I'm sorry. Amen.

Tough Question

2009-04-05T22:42:00.007+08:00

Extremely Tough Choice To Make

Question: If you were headed to church and you see an accident, you are serving in church on that day (i.e. worship team). Would you stop to help or go straight to church?

Think about it for a second.
Tough choice isn't it?

Common typical Malaysian reply; "Go church lah, the accident none of our business what. God more important."
( Of course not all will say this. I'm just generalizing. )

Some would ask instead; "What would Jesus do?"

Indeed, what WOULD Jesus do? Serving the Father is what we are called to do yet helping those in need is ALSO what we are called to do. Which is which now?

Well, after giving it some deep thought as well as inspiration coming to me. I have finally come up with a sensible enough answer by my standards.

My answer would be; stop and help.

Why?

Well, first off, if say you are in the worship team and you are late for church, the worship team can still carry on without you by playing maybe in a different style. Also, worship does not come from the band on stage or the song, it comes from the heart. Incomplete as the team may be on that particular day, a simple acoustic worship or even an acapella worship will do. If you are serving in other ministries such as hospitality, or ushering, or communion or pastoral staff, just a call ahead to notify and they will be able to find replacements.

"If that's the case, then you are neglecting your responsibility in church."

The question is this; is your responsibility in church more important or your responsibility towards God?

Sure enough, you made a commitment to serve in church. But you made a covenant with God to serve with your life.

In church, 99.99% of attendance are believers. What if the people involved in the accident are not? And even if they were, you would just be a testimony to them by blessing them like the good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-35).

Matthew 9:9-13

The Calling of Matthew

As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

The people at church can continue even with your absence. But the people involved in the car accident may need the love of Christ at that very moment and you may just be that beacon of light. Even if they are believers, they will feel a lot better if someone is there to reassure them that Jesus loves them no matter what.

So, that's my answer. Hope you enjoyed it. =)
Of course if you disagree, feel free to leave a comment in my cbox.

Mass Com & Shuffle

2009-03-24T16:47:00.003+08:00

Mass Communication

Well, what happened to my dream of taking mass com in uni?

It died. *Queue laughter*

Not exactly. Yes, originally I wanted to take mass com because I like working with people. Instead I was given English Language. Now I'm doing that. I could have applied to change course if I wanted but I decided not to as this course that I'm taking now also offers opportunities in mass com. Not only that, it has a much wider scope when searching for jobs so its all good.

What I'm planning to do in the future? Well, I'm hoping to work in the human resource department of hopefully a recording company. =)

Shuffle / Techno Rojak

Rather unique topic for a girl to ask me to blog about. But anyhow, techno and shuffle to me is just a genre of music. I like music so I listen to almost any kind of music from oldies to pop to jazz to rock to metal and even goth.

So, nothing much to say about techno or shuffle though. It's mostly for dance. I listen to it just to get some beat in life. That's pretty much it. Currently hooked onto metal or rock now. Heh...

p.s. Sorry it's only a short post. 2 reasons. 1 is that there is nothing much to elaborate on the topics and 2 is I still have unfinished assignments that need to be done. Cheerios!

Leader

2009-03-14T03:05:00.004+08:00

Boss

"With great power comes great responsibility", a famous phrase by Stan Lee, creator of the Spiderman comics.

Yet does great responsibility come with great power? Becoming a father is a great responsibility. But, does it come with great power? Does it allow you to walk on walls? Fly? Rule the country?

When one thing comes with another, it doesn't mean that both will always come in a package.

So, what does it take to be a leader? In this world, people are striving so hard just to reach the top. To lead. And yet when they do, they end up not being able to lead. Why is that? Because they are not leaders? Well, what makes a leader? Are you born one? Or made?

To be a leader is not easy. Like it or not, all of us are leaders. Just in different manners, styles and perspectives. The many statements for being a leader;

- Strict
- Authority
- Calm
- Able to adapt
- Good organization skills
- Good people skills
- Good thinking skills

And so many more.

Good leaders have the qualities required to be one. But to me, the best is the word adapt. To be a leader, it doesn't mean that you always have to be strict. It doesn't mean that you always have to have authority. To be a leader, you just need to be a leader.

Yes it may sound weird.

- Strict yet understanding
- Strong yet compassionate
- Forceful yet gentle
- Organized yet imperfect
- Stressed yet joyful
- Pushy yet encouraging

I hope that would give you a picture of what I mean. Being a leader doesn't mean you only have a certain quality that you have to follow tightly. It also means being a friend.

People don't work for you, they work with you. Make them feel that way. They will feel wanted, happy and more encouraged. Therefore, they will willingly take the initiative to work harder. Being a friend is the most important role of being a leader.

When you have power, doesn't mean you have authority.
When you have authority, doesn't mean you have power.

p.s. I have no idea what I'm typing about. Hope you understand what I'm getting at.

Ex-Girlfriend(s)

2009-03-05T23:34:00.003+08:00

Ex-Girlfriend(s)

Well, it seems that I have been asked to blog about a rather difficult subject. Ex-girlfriend(s). Some of you already know my story and I have never blogged about it. But, here, I shall now blog about it.

Well, it started in form 6. I had never had a real girlfriend before. I met this girl when I became a prefect. She too was a prefect and we spent a lot of time together planning activities and doing our duties together. I started having feelings for her then and made the first move. At first she told me that she wanted to think about it. So, I gave her time. 3 months if memory serves me right.

She finally accepted and I was overjoyed. However, it didn't last as long as I hoped it. 3 months roughly.

What she did was simple yet huge in a way. She lied. Some of you would say that lying happens all the time and it's too small a matter. Well, not in this case. I told her that I don't like to be lied to. If it's a small lie then I wouldn't mind. However, if it is a lie that crosses the line, then it's not something that cures that easily.

What did she lie about? Her love to me. It was during the STPM examinations. She used the words "I love you" on me. Gave me encouragements and everything. After STPM was over, she was the one who initiated the break up saying that she had wanted to break up even before the exams but she didn't dare to because she was afraid that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the exam.

Isn't that a noble act? You may ask that. Yes, in some perspectives, it's a good thing that she did that. But she also knew that I prefer straight-forwardness and I would have been able to take it. Plus, she was already giving me signs. It was worse worrying what might happen that to have broken up straight.

So, there, she was my first girlfriend ever and it ended at that. I have not contacted her since. Some ask me to forgive and forget. I may forgive but I can never forget. Bitterness? Revengefull? Haven't forgiven her completely? Say what you want. I know my own principles and I have my way of thinking. Hate me for it. Admire me for it. That's up to you. Either way you have to live with it.

I shall continue a bit more that is off the topic.

I am constantly asked questions like "Found a girl yet?" "When are you gonna get a girlfriend?" etc.

The answer is God knows. Currently I am taking things slow with being in relationships. It's not because of the girls around me but it's because of me, myself. I feel that I'm currently not ready for a relationship. I just want to get my head straight, concentrate on studies and everything else.

Another thing is that many misunderstand my intentions. Sometimes, when I am close to a girl and treats her nice, they get the impression that I'm interested. The fact is that I only treat them as sisters. Some of you may not believe. In fact many of you may not and say that it's only a way for me to cover up. Well, again, it's up to you what you want to believe. As long as I know what I feel then I don't give a flying crap.

Hence the reason why I'm still single. Interested yes, but not in a hurry. I want to find the right one and be sure before I make a move. Life has not been easy, and it will never be.

It's true, sometimes I feel lonely. Even though I have a ton of friends around me and enjoy hanging out with them, I still feel as if something is missing in my life. It's just not complete. Emo as it may sound, you can ask single people. They may not admit it due to ego but without a doubt they feel like I do certain times.

Anyway, life is meant to be lived and that's what I'm doing now. Love is meant to be found and I'm finding. No matter what, life goes on. With the ups and downs accompanying.

p.s. Sorry if the feel was a bit angry in this post. As I said, it's a pretty hard topic. ^.^

Going Bald

2009-02-27T00:00:00.005+08:00

Going Bald

Many ask me this question. Why did I shave my head bald?

To some I said "Saves shampoo."

To some I said "Lazy wanna comb hair."

To some I said "I went back to National Service but as a trainer this time."

To some I said "I joined the go bald and donate to Gaza charity."

And yada yada yada yada yada...

Well, to those of you who are still curious, here's the complete and truthful answer as to why I decided to go bald.

I have tried many hairstyles. Ranging from geek to clean-and-smart to stylish. Most people prefer my stylish hairstyle which is very long. However, I take comfort over style.

While having long hair is stylish and makes me look cool, it was rather irritating to have it blown in my face when there is a gust of wind. Also, since I ride a bike in uni, I end up having "helmet-hair" which makes me look completely weird.

Hence, choosing to be more comfortable and more "free", I decided to go bald.

Also in package are;

I don't have to comb my hair.
I don't have to use so much shampoo.
I don't have to put up with hair in my face when the wind blows.
I don't have to worry about my hair being in style and not losing is "cool-ness"

There. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I hope it has cleared up some of your questions regarding why I cut my hair bald.

Oh;
p.s. I intend to remain bald.

Rubiks Cube & Euthanasia

2009-02-21T22:47:00.016+08:00

My Interest In Rubik's Cube

Well, I have always been interested in the Rubik's cube. I first encountered it at my cousin's house during Chinese New Year when I was much younger. However, I have never been able to solve it. Naturally, therefore, in my childhood years, I lost interest.

Only recently, in first semester that is, I came across it again. And this time I was interested to try until I would manage to solve it. I tried and tried using common sense and still could not get it. It was when I first saw it again after years that I found out there was a formula to solving it.

Hence, I bought a Rubik's cube myself and learned the formula from Lisa. To this day, I'm still trying to solve it even with the formula. However, my few attempts have failed so far. I shall continue trying.

Euthanasia

Euthanasia is explained as a form of mercy killing. In other words, you take away someones life either out of consent from the person itself or the family members.

This usually happens with hospital patients who are suffering from extremely serious injuries and have no hope of surviving. Example; those who are currently living with a life-support system and without it, the person will die instantly.

In some cases, doctors administer a drug to "kill" the patient in a painless death. Some other cases however, the doctors remove the life support system or termed "pull the plug". Most of the time, this is done with the consent of loved ones as they may not be able to bear to see the person they care so much for suffer to such an extent. Sometimes, it is the patients themselves who suggest the move as they may not be able to take the pain any longer.

In my personal opinion, this move is a very subjective matter.

One is that people have no right to play god and decide when one dies. There is a reason why we were brought into this world and there is also a reason why we are allowed to survive albeit with the help of machines. Just what gives you the right to decide that you should end his/her life? Is it because they are your loved ones and you know best? How would you know? Did you ask them before you made the decision? Well, obviously not. How would you know that the person is actually fighting with all his/her might just to stay alive so they can see their loved ones again?

It is said that when a person has the will to live, they will continue to live on no matter what. Even just to be in this world for another second. There have been cases where a patient is hooked onto a life support system but with the possibility of recovering dies with no reason. It was not because his body failed of the system malfunctioned, but because he lost his will to live.

Two would be the possibility that the family can no longer support the medical bill and have no other choice but to end the suffering on both sides.

Three is that the patient may have left an earlier note to end his/her life should they be in pain or any form of suffering and when the doctors inform that the person has no chance of regaining consciousness.

There are so many other reasons for this action. Many countries have banned this act as they deem it an immoral act and it is still a form of murder.

Each reason may be reasonable at the time of action however, no one will know what to do until the time comes. Each family and each person's personal view and decision can only be made based on their feelings at the time.

I cannot condemn this act nor can I agree to it. What is our right to judge those who have done it? They have their reasons. Some may disagree by saying that it's inhuman and give every possible kind of reasons. However, have you been in their shoes? Can you feel how they are feeling right now? Can you understand what is going on in the family or individual?

God never gave us the right to take lives, nor did He gave us the right to judge people.
Euthanasia is an act only one would know when the situation arises.
That is when one will know what it feels like.
That is when one will know how hard it is to make a decision.
That is when one will feel the suffering.
Then is when one will truly know...

Welcome!

2009-02-20T16:42:00.000+08:00

Welcome to The Endless Abyss...

Stay at your own risk...

Testing...

2009-02-19T16:44:00.001+08:00

Ahem ahem...

testing testing....